ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize