I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I wish i was in the wii world.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
There r osticjed everywhere
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Randomize
