Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize