and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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