At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
What a dumb baby whore.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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