omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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