a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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