the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
