I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The feeling are messing with the penis
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
