And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
