...so i touched it.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
