we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
