I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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