Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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