found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
