the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
It's official drugs can't kill me
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
