Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
