Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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