jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
