Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
