Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
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