i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
