my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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