Is it normal to miss your booty call?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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