she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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