So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
vagina is talking i cant
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
