bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
