For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
