you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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