i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
