I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize