OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
