and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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