dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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