there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
