Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
