You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
