i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize