Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
