Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize