waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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