Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
