We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
