I think I am morally bankrupt
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
