those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
