my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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