Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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