I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize