the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Terrible idea I love it
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
