This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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