What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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