Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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