He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
