help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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