is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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