i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
