Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I queefed so loud it echoed.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I AM VODKA MAN
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I lost the right to judge tonight
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
