I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize