Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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