He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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