Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
